On the 14th June I turned 30! 3-0. Honestly, for most of my life this age seemed so far away. To me it was (and still is) a monumental age. I used to think that by now I’d have a husband, a house and a few kids. Instead I live in a shared house with 4 other people, and yesterday I fell asleep on my bed after a few too many drinks and woke up at 5am in a daze, on a school night – oops.
I’m ten days into being thirty now. And nothing has changed. I’m still the same person I was yesterday – ish. And yet everything has changed in a way. In my twenties I was still finding my feet. Trying to meet new people and figure out what I like to do, get a career going and feel ok in me. Throughout my twenties, various things happened and I managed to pull myself through them and learn a few things along the way. I’ve managed to keep myself alive all this time – hurrah.
Here are a few things I’ve learnt throughout my twenties. I’m not sure how wise they are, but they helped me change my perspective.
Don’t sweat the stuff you can’t change
Honestly, you spend so much of your twenties wondering whether that guy likes you, whether he will text back, what he’s doing. You spend so much time wondering about why your colleague’s lives seem more perfect than yours. But my advice is – don’t sweat the stuff you can’t change. If he likes you he will text, if he doesn’t then at least you’ve not spent days agonising over it. Go for a wine with your girlfriends instead.
Change the stuff you can
Throughout your twenties you’ll probably find yourself being less passive – I know I did. I feel like there are some things people are unhappy with in their life, and they just put up with it. But the thing is, you’ll just be wallowing in your own misery if you don’t change anything. If you hate your job, look for a new one. If you find yourself feeling a little lonely, go and meet people.
If you live in London, I published my guide to making friends in London that you might find helpful. I know some things you can’t change in life, but some things you can, and if they make you unhappy, you should change it.
Look after yourself
In my early twenties I could have ice cream for dinner, go to bed at 2am and go to work the next day. Then I realise it just feels so much better to get a decent night’s sleep and cook something that tastes good and is healthy. I found exercise in particular helpful, and it was a constructive habit I picked up in my twenties.
If you are looking to get into exercise, I published my how to start exercising guide.
Don’t take family and friends for granted
I’ll probably talk about it in due time, but in my twenties I lost quite a significant person in my life. When you’re young, your parents are watching you grow up. But you’re also watching them grow. When you’re young and they’re in their 20s / 30s / 40s you barely realise. But when you’re thirty and your dad’s in his sixties, it hits home they won’t be around forever. Send that nice text, or meet your parents for dinner if they live near. You won’t ever regret that.
Don’t put yourself down or stop believing in yourself
I’m not saying never take responsibility for any wrongdoing. But don’t talk yourself down or think you are any less than anyone else. You’re not. You’re you. Your twenties are about finding yourself and you’ll do and learn things you never anticipated. Having those experiences will give you a new found confidence. I used to be the least confident person. I would always put myself down.But then I realised, I am equal to everyone else in the world. And I’ve done some really great things, and even if I can’t do the splits and solve a rubix cube simultaneously, I treat people well and contribute to society, and that’s enough.
Do you have any advice you’d give your younger self?